gonna do it again

ran into some british dude last night.

was looking for proper actual real food, not rice and bird bones and vegan bean stuff.  get me a bunch of sangria and real bread and cheese and cold cuts and stuff, seriously.  or i’m gonna die, right meow.  one more rice grain and the alien is going to explode out of my chest and murder every last asian person.

british dude owns the shop that has salvation.  he’s basically running a reverse ngo for stranded western guys.  actual food for actual humans.

he’s older.  and looks at least sort of out of shape.

but you know, he’s in this one horse town that really only has one purpose.  and he’s got the tell-tale sunburn.  i say, so.  you’re a kiting addict too, then.

yes he is.

supporting his habit by making real bread and importing some proper blue cheese.  working at night to be able to kite during the day.  this is how addiction should be.  if you’ve got a bit of addictive personality, go find a kite school.  and if not, go find a kite school.  this is coming from a jake, who’s neither and both, and i’m telling you.

yea it’s that kind of post, again.

i’ve been away from the wind for a month.  didn’t hugely miss it.  i’m not the addict type. got back because lease is about to expire, time to pack and reorganize things a little bit.  and while already here, it happens to be windy.  nothing else to do during a hot day, might as well hit the beach.

and you know …

it’s so satisfying.  a bag, designed specifically to fit your kiteboard and a full setup of kites for all wind conditions.  something about bags made for specific uses that just really hits the spot.  purpose-built things.  you pull the zipper and there is crispy white fabric.  carbon fiber weave.  all fitted in there, professional like.

like a gun case, but more amusing things to do with.

get to the beach.  grab the right size kite, watch it inflate on the ever convenient compressor pump.  a nice big white canopy of high tech and super light fabric.  the nerd brain rejoices.  small black diagrams imprinted on the fabric, with arrows and graphs and things, next to mounting points.  it’s very fighter-jet-ish in it’s no-nonsense, purposeful, very germanic styling.

grab the completely excessive super light carbon fiber bar.  the lines that are guaranteed to never stretch, all slim and gray and also very german.

get it launched.

i don’t even remember if i remember how to do any of it.  making dumb mistakes during setup.  just skips my mind, it’s been a month.  there are a lot of little details.  don’t hold the bar while checking the lines.  depower a little on the beach.  stuff.  other stuff.

and then the moment when you’re sitting in the water, board on your feet, moment before you pull the bar to dive the kite hard out of the sky.  it’s still peacefully floating over your head right now, a nice white fluffy cloud of high tech engineering.

pull the bar.  peaceful fluffy cloud turns into instant huge flying weapon, a mad rush of g-force power.  feel the non-negotiable urgent pull of something strong enough to easily rip your body straight out of the water.  you instinctively adjust body posture to catch the pull, straighten board, and pull the kite out of the full power dive.

and just like that, you’re off flying over the ocean surface.  no noise, nobody to depend on.  in moments spectators see you go from sitting by the beach in the shore break, to being a spec on the horizon.  you’re a creature of the ocean moving at speeds you couldn’t ever run on land.  flying over the water, launching yourself over waves, weaving, playing.  dolphins be jelly.

hey.  is jakey an addict, then?

it’s amazing to realize you have a newly acquired, instinctive, muscle memory ability to control a setup that’s no less amazing than the fictional batman bat suit.  it’s a man made superpower, being able to fly over the water.  futuristic space age carbon fiber weave glistening as it carves through the ocean.  25 meters away up in the sky is a wing, your wing, seemingly controlled in mysterious psychic fashion.

i never was a comic book guy and for all the batman references, that whole thing isn’t a fantasy that does it for me.  just like watching football or politics, not so much into spectator consumption of life.

but man.  when you put that suit on yourself, different story.  whether it’s a fast motorbike, to suddenly be able to move a a hundred kilometers an hour.  or a paraglider, and fly off some mountain like a bird.  or a kite setup and become an ocean creature.  all of this is fascinating, and hopefully you don’t spend your life in a cubicle and in front of social media.  real life superhuman options, waiting for you to go play.

i’m still not feeling like i’m itching for wind, right this very moment.  no addictive personality.  but if you ask if i’d go back and go through all that crap again, learning this stuff, spending the money on gear, sitting at the beach for weeks, waiting for wind …. well.  answer is obvious.

going to pack up the bag.  maybe leave it here while going back to chill with the family bits.  maybe there’s wind here when i get back.  or if not, just grab the bag, all black and wheeled and with spaceship silver alien fabric insulation on the inside.  just some dude, checking in at some airport counter.  to somewhere new.  wind and cute girl things, find yourself out there somewhere.  playing, flying, riding the waves.


  1. AlmostAnonymous

    April 10, 2017 at 7:39 am

    I think flying, or the sensation of flying, is one of Mankind’s oldest wishes and dreams. There is nothing quite like that sensation.

  2. Dancing Joe Blow

    April 11, 2017 at 1:30 pm

    Can really feel the awesomeness overflowing in this post

    • jakey

      April 12, 2017 at 12:50 am


      • Dancing Joe Blow

        April 12, 2017 at 2:52 am

        Now I’ve got a hankering for some kite surfing fuck

  3. JonnyBananas

    April 13, 2017 at 12:31 am

    Know those feels of a strong motorbike/manbeast tearing up track. Kiting sounds sublime bro.

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