on being nice

i’ve got issues.

takes about 3 seconds for me to go from chill to murder.  small dog syndrome.  insecurities.  one of the ongoing projects, chipping away at the bits that probably ultimately cause a lot of the negative personality traits.

one big one that helps a lot, making a concerted effort to think of all stranger people as friends you’ve known forever.  the guy at the reception desk?  not some annoying fuckhead who can’t find your reservation, but your idiot friend who always has been an idiot but hey, you’re friends.  so you just go come on patel, you can figure this out.  fate of the world, on your shoulders.

thinking of this while at the quasi reception of one of the probably cheapest hotel places of all time, in HK.  it’s pretty ghetto.

and this dude checking in front of me, seriously, must be his first time away from his mom.  even if he’s 40 and balding.  why are there no slippers in my room.  there’s not even space in there to turn around.  why is there no desk.  why is there no airport shuttle.  i need laundry service.  you guys suck.  seriously.  worst review, ever, i will write!

and you’re looking at poor reception dude thinking, wow that must suck.  you loose all faith in humanity, working that gig.

pat, reception dude, chill indian kid.  smart guy.  gets exactly zero days off.  busts his ass to make money for the family back home.  his boss will throw him out of the window if “he” gets the place a bad review.  so pat is basically forever between a rock and a hard place.  it’s the cheapest fucking converted pile of tiny apartments in town, turned into tiny hotel rooms,, in  the most ghetto building of all of human history.  he can’t win.  not ever.

pat hooks jakey up with a big as fuck room.  paid $20 for a tiny hole, get the biggest ‘family’ room with windows on two sides instead, and it’s proper nice.  quelle surprise.  pat prints my visa forms.  saves me several dollars and a trip to the annoying internet cafe pakistani place.  pat’s cool.

you know why.  because not treating pat like some minion drone of some corporate wishing well.  pat’s not mom failing to provide infant support at all times.  pat’s just a dude trying to make it all work.

you know this already.  it’s just self therapy writing.

here’s another one.

dropped off a watch for service.  all done, got watch back.  noticed a scratch on the rehaut, right over the serial number no less.  how in the fuck … you can only see it at the right angle.  not a big deal.  the watch is a beater, gets to go on all kitesurfing trips and offroad bike rides.

but.  all that other case damage it sustains, is fixable.  they got laser welding now which is insane.  as long as any bones of your watch are left, they can rebuild it, can’t even tell the difference if you find the right kind of place to do it.

but a scratch on the inside, over the serial.  that’s iffy.  that’s literally maybe the only iffy spot.  how’d they scratch that?  on a $40.000 watch?!

i take a couple days to not think about it.  then pop in when particularly mellow feeling.  ask watch dude how fixable this particular sort of scratch could be.  something for maybe the next service, if it’s doable.  no getting angry, no saying they did it, none of that.  just hey, there’s this scratch in a somewhat impractical spot, what do you think.

this guy also, is the wizard of the east of refinishing watch stuff.  could be one of the best out there.

and that’s where being nice is key again.  the chick who works at the front looks visibly nervous.  you might imagine them having the sort of clientele who doesn’t deal well with things like new scratches after services on watches that cost as much as a car.  it’s a high end type of assholes-who-overcompensate-with-watches sort of place.  irony of that, not lost.

watch dude says no problem, can absolutely fix it, not to worry.

i talk them out of dealing with it now because leaving town in a few hours and just wanted some reassurance that it’s no big deal.  resale value, mainly.  nobody is gonna not notice a scratch over the serial number, and … expensive stuff picky buyers not ideal combo of scenarios.

you can’t imagine the subtle and yet complete relief in dude’s face.  and the front desk girl’s face.

we add some kind of watch loctite to bracelet screws that could come loose.  because, watch leads a hard life.  he’s thrilled to do it, doesn’t want to charge me.  front desk girl tells me that watchmaker dude loves this watch, it’s his favorite, the color combo and all.  how he was all about it during the service.  they’re all chatty and happy that no drama went down.

and they’re super nice anyway.  total watch nerds.  and yea, maybe a tiny slip at the wrong time, maybe it scratched something.  everybody gets the benefit of all the doubts as long as possible.  you’ll get lower blood pressure, and they’ll remember that you weren’t a total dickbag.  even if you briefly wanted to murder somebody for fucking up up your high dollar stuff.

now on to immigration.  if ever there was a human who totally was not your old pal ….


  1. Red23

    April 6, 2017 at 10:53 am

    Cedo!!! I missed reading your blog 😀 I hope you’ll never shut it down again senpai.

    • jakey

      April 6, 2017 at 11:28 am

      It’ll always be open occasionally.

  2. kyle

    April 6, 2017 at 2:04 pm

    welcome back

    • jakey

      April 7, 2017 at 5:20 am


  3. Dancing Joe Blow

    April 7, 2017 at 1:14 am

    Damn makes me wonder why this blog was down for so long! This goy doesn’t dare ask though

  4. JonnyBananas

    April 7, 2017 at 2:10 am

    Is that a picture of Terminal 21 shopping mall in Bangkok? I was just there! Holiday in BKK and Pattaya for 2 weeks. Mad adventures. Missed your musing JakeFace. Welcome back!

    • jakey

      April 7, 2017 at 5:17 am

      yea but just out of laziness. haven’t been over there in months and months!

  5. AlmostAnonymous

    April 7, 2017 at 12:36 pm

    What a radical concept, treating people with respect. Who would have thought you could get such good results from treating people nicely?

    (That sarcasm isn’t directed at you Jakey, but at those who don’t get it)

    • jakey

      April 8, 2017 at 1:59 am

      thinking, giant consumer society isn’t ideal for any of us.

  6. Henry

    April 7, 2017 at 7:24 pm

    Glad you’re back. People were starting to gossip. Said you went queer, changed your name and went into hiding.

    • jakey

      April 8, 2017 at 1:53 am

      “went” queer?

  7. Dagnasty in Manila

    April 8, 2017 at 9:33 am

    I heard he became a lifestyle guru! =O

    Glad you’re back. If you made a book out of this stuff, I’d buy it. Definitely my favorite blog.

    • jakey

      April 8, 2017 at 3:38 pm


  8. Le` Coupe

    April 8, 2017 at 9:06 pm

    Jakey Face .. welcome back … ‘mirin how you operate. Jakey you seem to know when to hold when to fold and when to come back …. not a learnable trait. Respect man massive respect. Like the Write up on being nice … goes a long way. Keep it up

  9. Kelvin

    April 22, 2017 at 7:17 pm

    Word in the internet was that Jake decided to come back to the USA and got married to a 30 year old single mother of two.

    He found a comfy job as a tax specialist and lived a normal life of hamburgers and keeping up with the Joneses.

    For the longest time I believed it until the blog reopen and well Jake is still Jake.

    • Red23

      April 22, 2017 at 10:41 pm

      Sounds identical to the plot of Archer season 4 episode 1 😛

    • jakey

      April 23, 2017 at 1:32 am

      maybe the author of this blog is some milton (office space) looking character who never even left his home state. think about that one.

      • AlmostAnonymous

        April 24, 2017 at 4:25 am

        If so, so what? It’s a hell of an interesting set of tales, if nothing else.

        Besides, few people actually have the imagination to make this shit up, so my vote is on there being a grain of truth in there somewhere.

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