before coming to v*******, bangkok was awesome.
two apartments. one with new family project, next to the big park with the kid play areas and the gym and the subway and all sorts of gentrified family friendliness. the other a tiny studio in the middle of massage parlor central where all the teenage hookers go to eat at the night market after work. a live-in nanny dealing with the kid stuff and a girl who doesn’t ask questions when you disappear for a night.
cake. eat it too. have it both ways. whatever the sayings are.
a big fat monster motorbike and a little handy city roaming motorbike. baby mama and all the loose womenfolk on the side. a bit of this, bit of that.
of course that all glorious perfection ended. when i blew it up, out of boredom. let’s do something new, i said. the girl was bored too and the nanny thing was no longer working out and thai government was getting funky about visas and the vibe uncool with cops roaming the streets, asking for passports.
so we left.
replaced that with v*********. which i’d not trade back for bangkok at this point. nice house on the beach. a great relationship with the girl, and enjoying the kid moments. an awesome daycare. kitesurfing to fill up parts of the day. interesting whitey peoples who dig life more than careers. a dozen tasty food options in walking distance, from vegetarian to indian to greek, along with all the bits to snack on at home.
not doing it justice. it’s fucking paradise, nothing i’d change about it.
except everything. as usual i’m going to blow it all up.
it all started with one of the usual contemplating future and options wandering around the beach at sunset. come to think about that ill fated restaurant idea, back in burma.
i want to bring it up again, just because. kitesurfing season here is about to end, the plan is for the girl to visit friends and family back home. she wants to go to singapore too, solo trip. and i’m thinking a bit of europe and float around, get back together when we’re both bored doing our own things.
we’re lounging around in beach hammocks. watching the horizon, looking for wind to start showing up in little whitecaps out there in the ocean. so we can run and pump up some fancy high performance kites, go surf some waves. our routine and also no wind so far. so i go, hey what about your best friend and the restaurant idea.
she messages her friend. we’re just a few phone taps away from blowing up the whole paradise we’re lazily swaying in right now.
turns out best friend has been scouting, working hard. found an existing restaurant, fully set up, for sale. mad cheap rent. includes liquor license which is worth gold and near impossible to get. car parking. 30% lower initial investment than the previous idea i torpedoed. potential goldmine, even better than the last round. last round was projected at a thousand USD a day in net profits, reasonably potentially realistically. trigger is about to get pulled with a new partner, next month. we missed that boat, looks like.
but no. best friend doesn’t really want an unknown partner and hadn’t made any firm agreements. plans are hatched between the two girl bits, right there on that iphone screen, in the hammock, on the beach.
long story short, girl and her best friend agree to be partners instead. with jake as silent partner. and before you go, uhm jake. a lot of little things changed. feeling comfortable with our relationship. ready to let it go now, let fate do its thing, either we’ll share success or she runs off back to her world. i’m ready to be cool about it either way.
watch the current scenario go up in flames, right here.
next week the girl is going back to check the place out. plan things. move various family members around. sign contracts, rent a place to live, make a business.
all that in the span of a few hours.
i’m bummed right now.
kind of like leaving bangkok bummed. leaving a perfectly nice scenario, for a totally unknown replacement. going to miss all the bits of here. no idea what to think of the new plot. except that you know i’m not going to be there anywhere remotely full time. the girl will be busy with her (our) biz, surrounded by family and friends. and i’m going to do the usual jake thing … shoot myself out of the pirate cannon, strap on the backpack, go wander off into the world.
there’s talk of jake buying a pair of crappy motorbikes with a madman dude friend and riding them through all the ‘stans. set mayhem level to full, scotty. might maybe be an appropriate adventure and central asia girls are supposed to be stunning.
and go back to frontier land and visit and see the biz and the kid and the girl.
idea is to set that up, get it stable, put family in all the key places, have the name on the papers, get her some experience running a place like that. give her a taste of that option, of working for a living, being a business owner. let her compare it to being mom-at-home. also, after a year it should be good and running, no unknowns, and then take various months for both of us to travel and find new places to kite.
big steps. always big steps, monumental ones, from leaving behind careers and continents and businesses and now family and about everything imaginable. always well beyond a jake’s comfort zone. always feeling like stripped naked, give up all your in-game weapons and points, set back to square one. you and a backpack and nothing much else. start all over, leverage none of your previous connections or routines or experiences. feels like every time putting all the chips on the table, gambling with everything.
yikesey mc yikserson, with the always blowing shit up, jakes. seriously.
but first probably going to have to finish out the season, all alone where there used to be kid and girl and things and that’ll be weird, but there’s still some wind to be had here. then probably slink off to bangkok and drown anxieties in copious amounts of chasing the you-knowsies-whatsies. then maybe stop over in frontier land and see what’s up. and then maybe europe, or that ‘stans idea of madness on motorbikes.
or something totally different, who knows. as always, the only known constant being the “who knows”.