white man: extinction

oh, boy.  fucking rants.

it’s really too simple.  when you boil it down, when you listen to any one person long enough, enough of their rants and opinions and stories, everybody is made up of just a couple of boring fucking repeat opinions.

jake repeat opinions of course include the fail of all failtime that is the modern white dudelet.

the bro.

or the nerd.  from the guy who started roiding at 150 pounds and now is all tribal tattoos and spike hair, all the way to silicon valley nerd who’ll talk to you endlessly about valuations and his install base.  i hate them all equally.

all of them.  all. of. them.

there was one of them the other day, at the beach.  how is it, bro dude, that i’ve known you for all of six minutes, i’m not even talking to you, and i already know that you think you’re cool because you “sold” “several” silcon valley” “startups”?

uhu.  right.  right, right, right.

but who deserves all the hate most, more than soggy expats, more than dude bro stag party juicers, more than any guy who has more than 12 posts in any internet forum, even more than the guy who parades around with a waddling fat turd of a female abortion … more than any of those, the hate trophy goes to, you know who … the internet entrepreneur.

god. fucking damn.  take the concept of a stupid fucking poser and then amplify it by forty fucking thousand.  and then shoot it to the moon, make it slingshot past the moon’s gravitational force, double the numbers times the gravity times ten, and you start to see the approximation of the degree of fail in modern dudelet internet bro.

anything, from the base level basic bro affiliate marketer, to the search engine optimizer, to whatever fucking else involves the abstraction of the interwebs.

why?

because never has the fail been more all caps, more wasteful, more this-is-the-end-of-the-white-man (and thank god, maybe), than internet bro.

and before we bother really, they all cap out at about USD 500 a month in income.  (yea yea exceptions, yea yea part of the learning curve, yea not every single person out there – we’re talking about a specific kind of bro, infesting the expat scene)

not even worth going further than that.  hey, if you’re good at seo, you come up with your own product, something with stratospheric margin and a huge target audience, and you make a gazillion dollars and we’ll never hear from you again.  because you’re not going to any meetups, because you’re not writing a blog about making it in asia (oops), because you’re busy spec’ing your mclaren and banging the bored houswives of LA.  or whatever.  you’re not in an internet forum talking about getting laid or how bitcoin is blowing up.

met one of these guys recently.  29, sold a women’s underwear company (selling online, seo, yea yea but a real product).  now is into mattresses, copying the huge landslide win of internet mattress sales going on in the US.  saw it, copied it, now kills it with the same concept in asia.  did the actual legwork of manufacturing and distribution, the things that separates dudelets from men.  that’s winning.

also rare.

any time you see anything about location independent, or digital-anything, or travel-anything, you see fail.  fail.  fail plus fail equals shut the fuck up already, half hatched dude bro-ling.

why this, now?  why so rantey, jake?

because context, frame of reference.  painful frame of reference.

remember jakey’s girlfriend?  sure, she’s fairly relatively almost smart and quite not lazy.  but also she’s a girl.  and she’s asian.  and she’s from some tiny hut village in the most backwards country on the planet, with no meaningful formal education.  you’re not looking at bred-for-success.  you’re basically taking the least likely starting point for success altogether.

not really but let’s pretend.

remember the restaurant project?  tiny little shack with a tin roof and 64 seats, held together by a few coats of fresh paint and a handful of led lights.

her first shot at a restaurant, if you want to call it that, all magnanimously.  her first shot at any business.  the staff is flunkies, one of the chefs disappears, her business partner girlfriend goes on spending sprees.  dust swirls around the street out front, mosquitoes are buzzing around your ears, it’s all as backwards as you can take backwards without actually getting sucked into a space time machine vortex straight back to the stone age.

mmkay.

and you should see the money the thing is making.

the money.  this thing is making bank in ways that made even a jaded jakeface do a double take.  can’t be right, can it?  i look at the numbers and try to figure out if she maybe meant something-not-dollars.  a just opened shack place, run by two village flunkies, is making what now?

not going to put exact figures here, except suffice it to say that what your favorite idiot lifestyle blogger does in a lucky month in ebook sales, this place easily does in a day.  a half a day.  a half a dust swirling, hobbit staffed day.

two flunky village girls in a shack with some creaky wooden tables straight up school every single internet white guy and every single white guy ambitions in a way that’s just … ugly.  i’m embarrassed to be a white guy, a little bit right now.

it’s not the immigrants, fools, that are the end of the west.  the immigrants just show us the glaringness of the uselessness of our education, the fail of our culture, the ineptness of our government and our whole entire consumerist idiot brains.

nature fills voids.

embarrassing.  even for me.  i have not spit balled my first business ever, in a super backwards city, with an idiot partner, and knocked it out of the park so hard that the ball has it’s own geosynchronous orbit up there in outer space.  here’s me talking about two year lead time for business and 9 of 10 failing.  and in walks village girl and at every turn of restaurant troubles, she’s already done what i’m maybe about to suggest.  she goes, well this fucked up and i say, well have you thought of this and she responds, yea we did that.  and then five other things i haven’t even thought of.

thousands and thousands of dollars.  money everywhere.  she’s all like, hey so do you want me to pay you back for your investment now or do we just put it in our joint account a buy a nice house somewhere a bit later?

that’s what’s up.

meanwhile ten white guys are busy building our collective doom.  for the zillion white guys scratching their lifestyle entrepreneur peabrain heads or sitting in fluorescent cubicle farms.  uber self driving cars and robots that’ll clean the airbnb apartments that all the chinese are going to hang out in while we sit in our parent’s basements because there are no more jobs for anybody and btw. zuckerfuck says thanks for automating socializing with other humans and sadly the ad value of your life is $2 a year because you can’t really afford to buy anything anymore.

meanwhile a 25 year old village girl from somewhere in the sticks in bumfuck asia has a higher net worth than any of us and our fat feminist girlfriends, and her polyamory second boyfriends all put together.

ah.  sorry for all this shooting down your day.

but it’s true.  we’re mostly these weird, socially awkward, fake, autistically intelligent outbreeds.  whenever i see any of us white guys out there, it feels glaring.  from the stiff jointed gait to the fashion choices either outdated by a decade or borrowed from some uga-buga rap video, it’s like watching a live streaming eulogy for the white man.  soundtrack of broken trumpets and cracked violins in d-minor.

i used to feel a little weird about the ways of going with mutt offspring but the longer i think about it, the more it seems like that’s the way to go.  maybe we purebread ourselves into a species that’s just no longer fit for survival.  we spawn the trumps and hillaries and zuckerbergs and wallstreet and big pharma and now the toaster is set to a nice light golden brown.  biing.

evolution shrugged.

go on, flame the fuck out of this post.  

31 Comments

  1. Le` Coupe

    April 16, 2017 at 3:51 am

    dude bro, the insights …. where do I begin. me thinks jakey face wad dropped on his head a baby jakey face, observations very spot on. i’d speculate that part of the problem is the desire to appear “entrepreneur-smart” y’know “i work in a start up making apps for xyz” rather than tangible money making things. using technology as answer to all mankind probs … you agree?

  2. Gulliver

    April 16, 2017 at 6:57 am

    Another Jake theme: Asia is like the West, but X years ago.

    7X years ago, Europeans used to fight duels regularly. Sometimes for cringe-y reasons, but still. Skin in the game! Shows how things change.

    Asia will catch up sooner or later and produce its own annoying bros. It’s probably already started. They certainly have their own nerds and guys who walk funny.

    A vision: The Jake brain is re-activated after centuries of cryogenic hibernation. Jake looks around, satisfied to see that everyone’s eyes are slanted. “I was right about that, at least. But what is this huge line of people in front of me, stretching to the horizon?”

    The horror mounts as Jake realizes the hideous truth. In 2217 AD every last person on earth is a brown-skinned growth hacker. Their civilization woke him up to give everybody a chance to pitch their latest exclusive 7 secret method e-book guaranteed to explode sales, boost testosterone and jump start a life of freedom.

    Jake’s brain again looks out into the never ending line of high energy Asians. By the looks of it, evolution completely snubbed white people and went straight for an Indian/Chinese blend.

    As the first pitch begins, a flood of nostalgia overcomes Jake’s mind. . . all he can think is how beautiful it was, the sound of that west coast douche bag talking shit about his start ups. But that time is long past, the age of white snowflakes. . .

    • jakey

      April 16, 2017 at 7:22 am

      Ruthless.

      • Gulliver

        April 16, 2017 at 9:48 am

        Less ruthless version: Asia is great. Attractive women, genuine smiles and personalities, interesting things around every corner, nature, cheap transport food and fun. But the relevant thing is the time warp, not racial stuff.

        I think most people who enjoy this blog would like this video by Adam Curtis. It’s really long, and pretty dark, but give it five minutes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9m2yReECak

        • Sam

          May 14, 2017 at 9:35 am

          I can’t help but comment on the phrase in the video,”… the Soviet Union became a society where nobody believed in anything or any vision of the future…what emerged was a fake version of society. The Soviet Union became a society that everyone knew that what their leaders said was not real…”.

          Ding, ding, ding. Go USA!

          • jakey

            May 15, 2017 at 5:39 am

            looking at the history of the current frontier place, can’t help but think how this is just true for most of human history. we’re tribal creatures. we’ll accept a leader for better or for worse.

    • afox

      April 17, 2017 at 10:01 am

      Exceptional

  3. Nick

    April 16, 2017 at 8:33 am

    So, she selling smack out the back, or hawking handies in the kitchen?

    • Mob Barley

      April 16, 2017 at 10:29 am

      At $1k profit a day I vote both. And flipping nukes.

    • jakey

      April 17, 2017 at 12:57 am

      you gonna sell me some seo consulting? 😉

  4. Mob Barley

    April 16, 2017 at 8:38 am

    Nice post. Different than the whiny alt right blogs I read when I’m bored. Thanks for the contrast.

  5. AlmostAnonymous

    April 16, 2017 at 11:59 am

    Jakey,

    if your sprog inherits the talent from both parents, then he’ll do ok.

    looks like you chose well.

  6. Nick

    April 16, 2017 at 2:19 pm

    To be fair, most whiteys never had a chance between the indoctrination in school and the student debt for a useless degree.

    Bad advice is the rule not the exception.

    Also important to note that like 90% of the population has a significantly lower IQ than you.

    • jakey

      April 17, 2017 at 12:57 am

      it’s just a facet, like most stuff here. not necessarily some universal truth or even meaningful in any way at all. think of it all more like abstract art than anything else. to your point, i’d still be married to an american chick who keeps getting fatter and working my 9-5 … if i wasn’t such a disagreeable fuckhead.

      • Redwolfe

        April 17, 2017 at 6:11 am

        I’m pretty sure by now that being a disagreeable fuckhead is required for success and happiness. I am certainly trying to cultivate that virtue.

  7. Henry

    April 16, 2017 at 7:13 pm

    I guess I am lacking in ambition. I just live off modest investment income. I have been thinking of getting on steroids but I wear Brooks Brothers and have not tats so I still wouldn’t fit in there.

    • jakey

      April 17, 2017 at 12:55 am

      yup. occasionally thinking i might get on various chemical enhancements at 50 or so. get a little roided up and ready for the second half of life, sly style.

  8. Mark

    April 17, 2017 at 4:04 am

    sounds like your kid might have gotten the most stacked genetic deck of all time tbh

    have another

    before you enhance your grapes info raisins

    P.S. I think the answer to your rant is simple: we don’t understand POWER anymore

  9. booshala

    April 18, 2017 at 8:39 pm

    Glad to hear the restaurant venture is doing well… I’ll admit that to me it sounded far-fetched, but it seems like they’ve cracked the code on it. Felicidades.

    • jakey

      April 19, 2017 at 3:13 am

      gracias. though as usual, little to do with it. stuff just happens and later i pretend like it was some kind of master plan.

  10. Red23

    April 19, 2017 at 12:26 am

    Jake, can you recommend a good book on nutrition? I believe you recommended one a few years ago in your old blog but I lost the link. It was a Top Seller on Amazon back then too.

    • jakey

      April 19, 2017 at 3:12 am

      no idea. been messing around with food and correlating it with regular blood tests for a few years, and it’s a damn rabbit hole. pretty strong correlations (for me) between what i’m eating and the numbers. not happy about it since all the fun stuff (pizza, more pizza, and colas) seems to also fuck stuff up.

      • Sam

        April 20, 2017 at 8:56 am

        This guy has some interesting post on food. He’s a physicist that got interested in food. Mostly high meat low carb. I pointed out and He admits though that some people have high carb diets and seem to do really well. I think, not sure at all, that if you have high carbs you can’t touch sugar or fat at all. The combination of high carb, high fat he calls the pig slop diet and it’s the American diet. Great if you’re looking to raise hogs.

        http://stan-heretic.blogspot.com/

        It’s great the restaurant is doing good. In the States restaurants fall like flies. I think they have one of the worst stats on making it. Maybe this is part of where you say the East is is years behind the West.

        I believe the West is monopolized in a lot of businesses. An example would be restaurants where there’s a set of chains everywhere where the chain gets better prices on materials. Not that you can’t succeed but the cards are so ever slightly stacked against you. I think a lot of businesses in the West have fierce competition and it’s just harder to make it. I may be that this instead of spurring people on kind of makes them listless from seeing no way out.

        This could also be totally wrong. The US is following with great accuracy the path of England. There’s actually really great engineers and inventors in England but they never seem to be able to put anything together. Books have been written about this but I’ve never seen any good answers (just so you know I’m too stupid to recognize it if they told me anyways). Here’s one.

        An Inquiry into the Permanent Causes of the Decline of Wealthy Nations and How to Prolong the Prosperity of the British Empire by William Playfair

        https://archive.org/details/WlliamPlayfairInquiryIntoThePermanentCausesOfDeclineOfWealthyNations

        It’s like the money people needed to advance something refuse to believe they could actually do anything right and would rather fund something somewhere else.

        Maybe Empire building just exhaust people. The US empire doesn’t really do a damn thing for the average guy with 2.5 kids. Maybe 100K people make big bank on it the rest get the cost. After a while maybe they see any work that would help the whole rotten structure as futile and actually counterproductive.

        • Mark

          May 25, 2017 at 11:50 am

          thanks for the food link

  11. kyle

    April 19, 2017 at 7:00 am

    sounds like you should write an ebook:

    “how to start a biz and make millions like an asian jungle mama”

    • jakey

      April 19, 2017 at 12:23 pm

      only if you write the foreword and do all the promotion.

  12. Frank

    April 20, 2017 at 9:00 am

    For a real horror show, visit Chiang Mai’s Nimman district. Hordes of white “dropshipping” bros with Macbooks.

  13. krautz

    April 22, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    Meh Asia has a ton of weak ass men too :/ The typical chinese guy is about as interesting as cardboard.

  14. John C.

    April 24, 2017 at 12:30 am

    What the f*ck is this disjointed writing style? It’s like a mental dump of inadequacy and jealousy packaged up in barely readable form. Was it even written by a human being?

    • Renegade Way and Away

      May 15, 2017 at 10:19 pm

      I was going to say something similar. All the recent posts have this incoherent flare. Methinks it’s insufficient exposure to the english language, now’days? Or perhaps the final descent into full blown madness.

      Conversely, the comment above about 90% with a lesser IQ. Try 99%. Too much extra brains gets a person into trouble, tho. Like they might dynamite their spot just to dance in the falling ashes.

      As for the chaotic ramblings – Quisas tratarlo en Deutsche? 😉 <3

      • jakey

        May 16, 2017 at 7:55 am

        tl;dr. IG thigh gap pic link is where?

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